I feel like this one requires no introduction. If you haven’t seen The Shining, you need to see it. You also owe me a thousand-word essay on why not. Continue reading
Today’s Jam
Chris Hadfield covers David Bowie’s Space Oddity to mark his last day on the International Space Station. This is really A Couple Day’s Ago’s Jam, but what are you gonna do? I can’t always move at the speed of the Internet.
A Word on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, or, The Whole is Often Greater than the Sum of its Parts
Last week, in a fit of rage, I stopped following a blog I’ve been reading for at least two years. We’ll call the blogger Josh, partly to protect his identity, and mostly because I have no idea what his actual name is. His offense? Blogging about online dating. Continue reading
Discomfort of the Male Gaze
During my 7 hour drive between Mississippi and Texas I like to listen to podcasts on my SoundCloud app. (If you don’t use SoundCloud there’s something wrong with you.) One of the casts that has really stuck with me after my trip was … Continue reading
Things You Learn From Mission: Impossible
Mission: Impossible was not about Tom Cruise climb-fighting his way across the top of a high speed train being chased by a helicopter. It was about making sure you were prepared. Here are some lessons from the first in a series of movies that just doesn’t know when to quit: Continue reading
In light of today’s events at Macy’s, I just want to say…
I HATE VICTORIA’S SECRET. I SHOULD STILL BE ON THE WINNING SIDE OF GRAVITY BUT YOU LIED TO ME AND NOW… NOW… Ugh.
Ladies. Go get your boobs measured by someone who isn’t a teenager. Get that old lady in the department store with GIANT knockers, because SHE knows exactly what your tits should look like. She’s been there, done that; has 40 years of boob experience under her…straps? (There’s a better pun in there somewhere.) Sometimes the giant bra she gives you looks like it’s about to put you in a choke hold, but believe me, you won’t regret it.
That’s all for now. I just wanted to get it out there before it’s too late for the rest of you. YOU’RE WELCOME
Today’s Jam
Sweet Jesus I’m in love with this song. I’m sure I’m late to the kewl kidz muzak partee but this is what I will gladly call, “Le Jam.”
The only thing worse than moving is finding a place to move to
Here at Gin and Cookies we like to educate our followers about dating, movies, buying shit… We love making lists even more. My friends, I wish to inform you of the terrifying Craigslist apartment hunt. If any of you are … Continue reading
Things You Learn from The Thing
The Thing. Not the new The Thing, the original. It’s a classic documentary on survival skills. If you haven’t seen it yet, what are you waiting for? Here’s what we learned from The Thing:
(1) Kurt Russell is part Wookie.
(2) What every arctic hellscape needs is some random guy roller dancing.
(3) The best helicopter pilots wear ridiculous hats.
(4) They’re not Swedish; they’re Norwegian.
(5) If you die in the freezing cold like that, your face will get stuck that way.
(6) Writings at a Norwegian base camp are in Norwegian.
(7) Fucking Norwegians.
(8) 30 years ago, computers were hilarious.
(9) When in doubt, set it on fire.
(10) Wielding a flame thrower while holding a pack of dynamite will not end poorly.
(11) Sharing a scalpel is sanitary — just make sure you wipe it on your pants first.
(12) Sometimes, when people say “gone” they really mean “not there anymore.”
(13) Well, fuck it.
Things You Learn From Red Dragon
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off taught us that you can hijack a performance on a parade float in Chicago and not get arrested. The Lion King showed us that it’s never too soon to teach your child about conspiracies. Freedom Writers taught us about whatever happened to the guy that played Jack Crawford in Silence of the Lambs, and Silence of the Lambs taught us the importance of anagrams. Welcome to a little thing I call Lessons From Movies, where we push the limits of what constitutes ”educational programming.” Put on your thinking caps, kids. Class is now in session. Continue reading
